10 Things You Should NOT Do On a First Date

1. Show up 37 minutes late and explain that number is symbolic because its both the number of times you have seen “You’ve Got Mail” and cry on an average day.

2. Refuse to eat because your collar bone is fat.

3. Offer up an account of your family’s mental health history.

4. Throw up in your purse.

5. Throw up on your date

6. Draw Blood (on purpose).

7. Demand to be taken to another location closer to sea level.

8. Take issue with the venue’s lack of handmade crockery unless said venue advertised the presence of handmade crockery.

9. Call your Nana at the dinner table to remind her to tuck your dolls in for you.

10. Offer to pay in foreign currency.

Mar 23 2010 Permalink